Once upon a time, an email came in advising me of an upcoming concert. I happened to know my boyfriend LOVES the singer in question so I booked the tickets, pre-paid for parking and dinner and scored some pretty great seats. I was sure we would have the night of our lives. This was back in November and the concert was in June so I was quite proud of my ability to plan ahead. It would be an early birthday treat!
The crowds parted and I was able to take in the show. I looked over and saw a young lady dancing in the aisles with reckless abandon. She was so joyful. I hope one day to be as joyful as she was. I want to be so overwhelmed by experiences and sensation that I’m no longer aware of my surroundings. I strive for that. I don’t know how to get there but I know what it looks like: bliss in the every day.
It didn’t start that way. It didn’t start that way at all. It was nothing like bliss.
The day of the concert we were rushing around madly. We needed dinner. We needed to get the kid to lacrosse. We needed to get to the concert. We grabbed some drive through. We got the kid geared up and watched the game (which they lost by a lot.) I pulled up the tickets to see if we needed to print them or if they were at will call. Then I saw it.
Well, shoot. All those emails about the dinner package I had received recently made a lot more sense in that moment. As luck would have it, a series of unfortunate events would have us there nearly an hour after the show started and we had already missed dinner before I realized that we had pre-paid for it. That made the crummy chicken burger fished from a paper bag the most expensive meal I’ve ever eaten when combined with the delicious buffet we missed. I was out of sorts.
As it turns out, I’m something of a concert orchid. Conditions need to be optimal and specific for me to blossom. I prefer to arrive early so I miss the crush of people, so I can find my seat easily in the light and so I get adequate food and water. Moving in big crowds stresses me out. I’m a barrel of laughs, basically (sarcasm font needed.) That’s why arriving so late had me hearing sad trombones over the country tunes. I was so stressed. Someone was kicking my seat and I couldn’t see over the people ahead of us.
I was sad we missed dinner and the burger had me feeling sickly. I was frustrated trying to find seats in the dark (we made a whole row that didn’t turn out to be ours get up and down and move to accommodate us but they were really good sports about it.) I knew I had a ton of work waiting on me when I got back. I was tense. But then I saw his face.
My boyfriend was smiling and completely enchanted with the display. He was happy. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough. He was satisfied, pleased and thankful. He didn’t need the fancy buffet. He didn’t care we had to re-park, walk in the rain, and get up close and personal with strangers to find our seats. He was happy to be there with me. I was happy to be there with him. He flirted. I teased. We were us for a night and it was just what we needed.
I guess the best laid plans don’t always turn out the way you hope (especially when you mislay the plans, like I did.) I can plan the perfect evening, try to be the perfect partner, but in the end, he only wants me to be his partner and spend the evening with him. Nothing turned out our way, but somehow we still found a little bliss in the every day.